48 Hours Of Festive Food

ENTERTAINING OVER CHRISTMAS? CRAIG BUTCHER ASKS A SELECTION OF TOP CHEFS TO GUIDE US THROUGH 48 HOURS OF TOP-NOTCH GLUTTONY, FROM CHRISTMAS EVE SNACKS TO BOXING DAY LEFTOVERS - AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN

You'll want to get things on the right track right from the get-go. For a Christmas Eve evening snack, chef Tristan Welch of Launceston Place says, "Festive cheese on toast is the business. Grill mature cheddar, a dash of sherry, cinnamon and nutmeg on toast." Thomasina Miers of Wahaca advises making a chronological list of tasks the night before - that way the champagne next day can flow without endangering lunch.

For Christmas Day breakfast, try smoked trout in lieu of salmon on toast - it's lower in fat, cheaper and just as delicious (www.britishtrout.co.uk/).

Christmas Day lunch - Chef Rachel Green recommends a Golden Promise turkey (www.golden-promise.co.uk). For perfect Brussels sprouts, Dominic Chapman, chef at Sir Michael Parkinson's pub, the Royal Oak, Paley Street, boils in water for a minute then finishes them off over a low heat in a pan with lots of butter for 20 minutes. Andrew Maxwell of the Tante Marie cookery school says: "Melt 200g butter in a pan and submerge a large square of muslin in the butter. Drape over the turkey during the first three quarters of the roasting time to keep the breasts moist. Remove for the last quarter of cooking for a crispy skin."

For dessert, Simon Duff of National Dining Rooms says "ditch the heavy Christmas pud and instead go for sticky toffee with warm caramel sauce and whisky cream."

Wrap up the main event in front of the TV on Christmas Day evening. Tuck into leftovers, cheeses and port, and a box of assorted chocs - try Green & Black's Assortment.

Make clever use of leftovers on Boxing Day: Mike Robinson of The Pot Kiln suggests Roast Christmas Dinner Patties. "Combine cubed roast dinner leftovers with wholegrain mustard, spring onions, and a squeeze of lemon. Form patties, lightly breadcrumb and fry in goose fat until golden and crispy."

Christmas spirit, wine and ales

FROM WHISKY TO SHERRY, FABULOUS FIZZ TO RIP-ROARING ALES, A ROUND-UP OF THE TIPPLES DESIGNED TO MAKE CHRISTMAS FEEL NICE

Meantime London Porter
Hearty London beer. Toasted malts and dried fruits make this a sharing fireside mainstay.
(750ml, £4.39, Sainsbury's).

Waitrose Reserve Barossa Shiraz
Big-fruited Australian red, loaded with blackcurrants and rounded oak vanillas. Ideal for Boxing Day cold cuts.
(750ml, £8.99, Waitrose).

Domaine Begude Chardonnay
French organic, biodynamic oaked chardonnay. Well-rounded creaminess and fruits are ideal with turkey.
(750ml, £7.99, Waitrose).

Lanson Black Label Brut, NV
Crisp, fresh champagne with good length and zest, an ideal aperitif.
(750ml, £27.99, most major supermarkets).

Tio Pepe Fino Sherry
Great with shellfish and over ice, this pale, dry sherry is the business.
(750ml, £8.99, most major supermarkets).

Caorunn Gin
Superb botanical refreshment from artisan Scottish whisky distillery. Partner with Fever Tree tonic.
(700ml, £21.95, online at www.royalmilewhiskies.com).

Laphroaig Whisky, 10-Year-Old
The granddaddy of whisky, a big, peaty, smoky number with sea-salt and seaweed notes.
(750ml, £26.99, Waitrose).

Worst Xmas Number Ones

CHRISTMAS IS FOR GIVING… JUST NOT EAR ACHE, PLEASE

Little Jimmy Osmond: 'Long Haired Lover From Liverpool' (1972)
Hideous reminder of worst pop sensations ever.

St Winifred's School Choir: 'There's No One Quite Like Grandma' (1980)
Conspiracy alert - lisping child keeps Lennon's atheist prayer 'Imagine' off seasonal top spot.

Cliff Richard: 'Mistletoe & Wine' (1988)
Like drowning in cherry brandy. At least 1990's 'Saviours' Day' is impossible to remember.

Mr Blobby: 'Mr Blobby' (1993)
Novelty cash-in for which no-one could be bothered to make up a title, or even a tune.

Westlife: 'I Have A Dream/Seasons In The Sun' (1999)
A perfect summation of two millennia of Western civilization, we'd all agree.

There'll Be Tears

5 BEST-SELLING CHRISTMAS TOYS, AKA THE STUFF OF PARENTS' NIGHTMARES

1988: Transformers
"Robots in disguise" now making comeback as film spin-off starring Megan Fox.

1993: Barbie
Unlikely triumph for then 34-year-old (odder still: Thunderbirds' Tracy Island at No 2).

1996: Tickle Me Elmo
Ridiculously cute chuckling Muppet doll.

2000: Furby
Third and biggest year for the interactive talking rat thing.

2004: Robosapien
Remote-control robot with "attitude and intelligence". Sort of.

2008: Baby Born with Magic Potty
Back-to-basics babyware sees off challenge by animatronic dog Biscuit.
How to Survive Xmas

A 10-STEP PLAN FOR GETTING THROUGH YULETIDE WITH YOUR NEAREST AND DEAREST

1. Plan journeys carefully.
   Arrive in a good mood or not at all.
2. Avoid all deliberations involving children
   and present-opening.
3. Ensure it is absolutely clear who is cooking;
   a matriarchal (or, indeed, patriarchal) power struggle in the kitchen will have a domino effect.
4. Alcohol facilitates the revival of sibling grudges;
   steer clear of shared property, schooldays, favouritism etc.
5. Forget television.
   Just thank the baby Jesus for digital recording, and let granny watch the Queen's Speech.
6. Be aware of evening binge-drinking.
   It will revive now smoothed-over lunchtime arguments.
7. Husbands:
   there is only one language father-in-laws of any age understand and it is sycophancy.
8. Grown women:
   however much your mother may irritate and belittle you, remember that Christmas is for the old ones, really.
9. Be gentle with teenagers:
   they feel like they're in prison and people keep asking about something called "O Levels".
10. It is meant to be fun, yes,
    but telling everyone that won't help. Just zip it and pass the bread sauce.